Us

In the early morning light
I watch him sleeping

I remember the sweet smile I got
before

I remember the laughter I heard
before

I remember the tender touches
before

I remember the butterfly kisses
before

I remember the heat of passion
before

Then

I remember

The flashing eyes
The cruel words
The daggers of hate
The cold silence

I think

What happened to us?
When did we stop being those people
That couldn't pass each other without
a touch, a kiss?

I worry that "we" have evaporated
and all that is left is this
empty husk
of the "used to be us"

A tear escapes
trails down my cheek
drops on to my empty hand

I reach out
touch his shoulder
he stirs
turns
smiles

Opens his arms for me
to rest my head
on his chest

I feel his steady heartbeat
hear his breathing

I worry too much
about......everything

He is mine for always
and I am his

And this is the way it will
always be

Safe in his grasp
the rest disappears
and I know

We are still us
damaged
hurt sometimes

But not
ever
broken

Where am I?

I wonder sometimes where I am

not physically, not in terms of my life goals

in terms of who I used to be

who I thought I was

who I thought I would or should be

Where did I go?

Who is this person living my life?

I feel like an imposter in my own life

I've got them all fooled

I am not anything like they think I am

I am a completely different person

than the one I wear on the outside

this suit of life does not always fit me

I want to break free

I want out of this fake life

I want to start living real

I don't really know what that means