8/10/2004

My protector

I had that falling sensation, barely conscious, vaguely aware of my surroundings. BAM! wide awake, adrenaline pumping my fists curled tightly in my blanket. I couldn't see. There was no sound. I was breathing like I couldn't catch my breath. In that split second before full awareness there was panic, sheer terror. Something was chasing me in my dream, I had leaped off a building to escape it. I couldn't see what was pursuing me but it was big and black and emitted bloodthirsty, wet snarls. I couldn't see teeth but I knew they were there I could feel it's hot putrid breath on my neck as it got closer and yet was far behind me (only in dreams is something there and not at the same time). I must have thought I could fly like Superman or Batman. Why else would I have leapt off the building. There was no choice. I had to fly or die. The panic in my brain was subsiding. My breathing returning to normal. But I still felt that lingering panic, fear. I looked at the clock it said 4:26 was it afternoon? No, it was dark must be the middle of the night. What day was it? did I have to get up for work? Where was I? Is this my bed? It didn't feel right. I flung my left arm out for my safety net, to stop my descent back into dream hell. There he was, my hubby. Big and strong enough to chase away all demons of the night and protect me. I curled up against his side. "I'm scared." He snuggled me in his strong, muscular arms and kissed the top of my head. I let my breath out and relaxed against his warm, solid body. With my head on his chest I could feel his steady reassuring heart beat. I am plagued with nightmares from time to time and he is always there to wrap me up in his strength and admonish them back to their dream scape. When he holds me I really feel held, safe and secure. Nightmare creatures and fears vanquished for another night.

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