Please

I've been away, inside my head, I tried to make peace with the things I said
I let it all out, I meant every word but I know what part is the part you heard
NOT happy, not HAPPY, NOT HAPPY
It didn't matter that I didn't mean you, that's the only part that got through
You tried to hide it and brush it away but I saw what you didn't want to say
You're hurt that you can't make it just go away, the darkness that is here today
It's not your fault my demons are back, its when I am alone they like to attack
Fear, longing, doubt, sadness, guilt take your pick, it's quite a tower I've built
You'll reach out, touch my face and for one pure moment I know I have a place
When the blackness recedes it is devine, I go on pretending that I am fine
Then the gates come down and the darkness descends, I wonder, will it end?
I know you don't get it and that's really okay, just don't let go, at least not today